Then She Found Me

It's serendipitous, a wonderful twist of fate, or it's God's gift to my family that several families who live within a few blocks of us have kids who were adopted. Four girls in three different households were adopted from China, one girl from South Korea, one boy from Russia -- and those are just the families whose houses I can almost see from my driveway. In those families, as is true in ours, the child who was adopted has older siblings who weren't. This is a great gift to my children. All around them, they see examples of families like ours. They have grown up to know and appreciate that families come in all different configurations, colors and sizes. 

My daughter and one of these neighbor girls play on the same softball team.  A few weeks ago, they had a double-header that started early on a Saturday morning. I went to the game hoping to see this girl's Mom, hoping to tell her about "Then She Found Me" which I'd seen the previous night. 

My eyelids were still swollen, I'd cried so hard during the movie. I'd cried those big, jabbing sobs that feel like someone has punched you in the chest. Repeatedly. I wanted an ice cube or a piece of cucumber to press against my eyes, but alas, neither was available at the field. I settled for sunglasses. It's not just the exploration of what it means to adopt a child, to place a child for adoption, or to be adopted that grabbed my heart. The way the movie handles marriage, sibling relationships, and parenting also is multifaceted and true. 

Bravo Helen Hunt!

I put the DVD case into my neighbor's hands and said, "You. Will. Love. This." I warned her not to watch it when her youngest was nearby. Yes, there's a bit of swearing and sex, but the main reason I cautioned her is the emotional rawness of the characters' conversations about adoption and some lines regarding China adoption that her daughter really didn't need to hear or process until she is much more grown up.

Today I came across an adoptive couple's blog called "Cheese Curds and Kimchi" (what a great title) in which the blogger gives a review of the movie. You can watch the movie's trailer there, too. In the comments section of the blog, there was some discussion of whether the movie treats adoption as a "second best option." Have you seen "Then She Found Me"?  What did you think?

P.S. Full disclosure: the only thing (and yes, a small, random thing) I truly didn't like about the movie was, much as it may have been Colin Firth's most appealing role ever (as Frank, the exhausted, tragic, soulful single Dad...sigh), I experienced some cognitive dissonance watching Matthew Broderick's portrayal of the wishy-washy Ben. It was a very good performance, but...why did creepy Ben have to wear boyish, Ferris-eque clothing?  The jacket?  My brain was at war with itself. Love Ferris. Hate Ben. Love Ferris. Hate Ben. (Okay, the second time I watched the movie I was over it.)