Last night, after a few nights of feverishly reading it before bed, I finished Carla Barnhill's book, "The Myth of the Perfect Mother." Written specifically for Christian believers, but applicable to all American mothers, the book explores the ways culture, the church, and even other mothers perpetrate what is ultimately a damaging view of what a is a "good" (or perfect) mother. She also proposes a new way to look at motherhood. It's a daring, honest, good read.
I'd borrowed the book from a friend and enjoyed coming upon passages that were starred, underlined, and otherwise celebrated with exclamation points and folded over corners. There were many passages that I wanted to return to as well and, given that one of my friend's children (or maybe my friend herself) had spilled what appears to have been a large mug of coffee on the book, tie-dying its pages, I took the liberty of folding over the edges of pages bearing particularly juicy quotes also. The problem is, now the book looks like a kind of art project or accordion or something, I folded over so many corners. (Um...sorry Caryn.)
As Mother's Day approaches, I recommend Barnhill's book to all mothers who sometimes feel they have to wear "happy shiny faces" all the time, hide their loneliness or depression, or think they must hide or understate how much they adore going to the office every day. Barnhill honors women who are mothers in this book - not only for what we achieve with our children, but for all the gifts we have been given and the ways we can change the world. (And she says not everyone has to be madly in love with motherhood.)
In a few days, I'll be sending out May's issue of "Love You More" news, chock-full of quotes from wonderful, honest thinkers and writers such as Barnhill and there will even a chance to win an advance reader's copy of "Love You More." (If you don't yet subscribe, use the form along the right side of this blog, or shoot me an email at jen AT loveyoumorebook DOT com.)
And Happy Mother's Day!
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