A Broken System

This morning I spoke on the phone with an acquaintance. She is mother to a seven-year old daughter whom she and her husband adopted as a baby from China. This woman, J., told me about a few of her single friends - a woman who lives nearby as well as a few scattered across the country - and the difficulties they have encountered recently trying to adopt a child. One friend, J. said, was turned down by Poland because she lacked Polish heritage.

"You know how many orphans are in Poland?" she asked incredulously.

(No, I don't, I do know that up to a quarter of Poland's population, according to some recent estimates, live below the poverty line and thousands of children are orphaned when their parents, in desperation, take them to children's homes and leave the country to work elsewhere in Europe. Others are orphaned in more traditional ways - women give birth to children for whom they cannot provide life's necessities, parents die, and so on.)

J's friends have also tried to adopt from Vietnam, Guatemala, and a number of other countries. Being single, when added to the widespread slow-down of international adoption, has resulted in a costly, time-consuming and emotionally painful time for her friends. (One or two of her single friends have tried to adopt domestically, too, but, again, without success.)

"Why is it?" J. asked. "Why in this world of -- how many? -- orphans can people like my friends not adopt children? It's just wrong."

I talked to her about concerns regarding culture, ethical violations, and other issues. These are all matters I dug into - very deeply - as I wrote Love You More. (See Chapter 7: Adoption: A Crime, a Necessary Evil, or a Miracle?) They are issues excellent organizations are trying to address as well.

"Yeah. I get it about culture and that some people have abused the system, but do people know what happens to children when they grow up without families in some of these places? Do they know about the street kids, the prostitution...?"

"It's a broken system," I said.

"It stinks," J. said.